My favorite argument runs along the following lines:
1) I did x
2) I turned out just fine
3) So doing x can’t be bad!
The more parenting reading I run into, the more I encounter this lovely argument. My favorite example:
“My mom smoked, drank, and dyed her hair every month when she was pregnant with me. And I turned out just fine!” Really, lady? Are you sure you want to put yourself out there for scrutiny? As I tell my students when they want me to reconsider their papers (and the assigned grade): the more I look, the more trouble I see.
Due to a recent article in The Atlantic on breastfeeding that’s getting some attention, I’ve seen hundreds of comments in which parents note that their children were either on formula or breastfed exclusively, and those kids turned out just fine.
I have to say, I generally consider myself pretty nervy (rarely in a good way), but I still think it might take some doing before I would note a behavior in myself and then point to my kids as validation for that act. I mean, I’m sure our kids will be just lovely, but that’s quite a lot to burden them with. The moment I point is precisely the same moment when my daughter will reach over and slap her brother. In front of company.
You are all hereby ordered to call me out if I make these kinds of claims when I become a parent.
Erin
Alan Schmierer