Thoughts and Words Ill-Sorted

They were sitting side-by-side on chairs in front of me as I fed them dinner.  Katherine announced, “I have a baby in my tummy!”

Nathaniel, not to be outdone, chimed in with, “I have a baby in my . . .”

“Neck!”

He considered that one while she giggled, but then said, rather deliberately, while looking down, “I have a baby in my . . . bib!”  He then patted his bib (which has a pocket at the bottom, very like a kangaroo pouch), looked at me, and smiled.

Erin

It is fairly quiet here at this time of year.  Far fewer tourists are wandering around, looking lost, and the students only just came back from the holidays.  Things are also fairly quiet in our house, as we try to keep the kids in a normal schedule while their parents come and go.  Sydney’s currently in the States, and I’m surprised to find myself with a relatively easy solo-parenting gig.  The three nursery mornings each week help a great deal, as does the fact that the kid are now old enough not to go from content to I’m-actually-starving! crying (can you tell I don’t miss the baby days?) in one minute.  They’re also interested in reading books, playing games, and helping me cook, so inside time has been quite pleasant.  Without any other adults around to hear, we’ve also done a lot of singing.  Nathaniel has pieced together most of the ABCs from listening to Katherine, but both kids have also picked up on some of the gospel-choir songs I’ve brought home from rehearsals.  “There were times I thought I’d never see the break of day” came tumbling out of Nathaniel’s mouth the other day, so I had better choose my songs wisely!

Katherine had a bit of a fit the other day, so I told her to go upstairs to her room to cool off.  Nathaniel, after watching her stomp off to her room, turned to me and said in a confessional tone, “I tore the spider off the wall [an incident from three months ago].  Katherine popped the balloon [two months ago].  Katherine colored on the wall [the day before].  Naughty, naughty.”  In a perfect imitation of his sister’s behavior in these situations, he admitted wrongdoing but then made sure that his list was shorter than hers.  For kids who are surprised by rain every time we step outside, they both seem to have a good memory for the things that get them in trouble!

We have been outside every morning this week, despite daily highs at freezing temperatures.  England has been getting its annual snow this week, with dustings each morning, and a bit of a storm scheduled for this weekend.  Katherine loves it, Nathaniel is curious, and as long as I can keep their mittens on they don’t get too cold to go out and play.  My college roommate, Lisa, is scheduled to fly in from Switzerland for a weekend visit late this evening, so we’re both anxiously watching the weather forecast and the flight schedules.

Erin

My parents spent hours and hours reading to the kids while they were here.  Nearly everyone who visits our house ends up reading some book to the kids, and I love that, forever afterward, when I read those books to K and N, I can hear the voices of our friends in my mind as the kids and I go back over the pages.  I have to say, nobody has yet read the Gruffalo book the way my dad did; I guess it helps having a deep baritone for that gruff character!

Erin

I made a quick trip to Boston for my field’s biggest conference, which is now held a few days after the new year.  As I took stock of my visit today, I realized that the pros and cons of conference attendance have really changed for me in the past few years.

Cons:I need to do something differently when I travel, since I now tend to get migraines that obscure the first few days of my trips.  Talks that are already difficult to follow don’t get any easier with a blinding headache.  This time the migraine lasted until the day I left, no offense to Boston.  I also failed to get enough sleep in the weeks preceding my travel, so I took the jetlag hard, and found myself unable to get rest on either the British or the American schedule.  So, so much for making the most of my days away from my children by resting up.  Sigh.

Pros: Since I couldn’t sleep, I did get in some great morning gym sessions.  If you think it’s hard to get out to the gym on an average weekday, you’d be how surprised how eager you might be to have some quiet time in a gym that’s just a few steps away from your bed after you’ve spent the past five years juggling pregnancy, nursing babies, and the time crunch that really picks up when you have more than one child.  I practically danced to the gym this week, and I’m no fitness enthusiast.  Besides, Boston was a lot colder than England is this time of year, so I didn’t have anything close to the clothing I’d need for a walk outside, even if it was light.  I mean, I could run, but who are we kidding here?

When I was new to conferences, most things went over my head, so I spent sessions listening to words and grasping at anything familiar.  By now, I’m comfortable enough to attend some talks on my areas of specialty, others in areas I’d like to learn more about, and others that tackle some of the big issues in the field that might get me thinking.  I’m grasping fewer factoids and more styles, theories, and debates.  I have to hope that these things will someday translate into a bigger perspective in my own research, which tends to be very nose-to-the-page interpretive.

Most significantly, I am feeling less lost in a sea of people.  Some of that is practical: I set up several tea and lunch dates with friends, colleagues, and collaborators, and those were by far the most “productive” parts of my conference attendance.  But some of that is also the hard-won assurance I’ve earned by working on my own since we moved to England.  Even if I don’t know anyone in a room, I’m pretty comfortable striking up a chat, or watching as others do so.  It helps that I no longer feel part of a particular clan–grad student, grad school, or other.  Perhaps the only major benefit to being a free agent, other than the lack of committee duty?

Erin

With Sydney away, we kept things fairly quiet here in Oxford.  Nathaniel, who is cutting his second-year molars, has been a bit of a handful when he’s not radiating charm, and it’s rained nearly every day (with high wind!), so we’ve spent a lot of time playing and reading at home or on short outings to buy groceries.  When the kids napped, we also had a lot of this:

The home time has been good for both kids, who finally got rid of their lingering coughs and are now full of their usual energy.

Erin

Katherine, next to the crescents she rolled for me:

Mom, Sydney, and I shared the cooking for our feast.  Three cooks definitely make it easier, even if our kitchen is a bit small for us to be in there at the same time:Nathaniel gets the evil eye when he tries to claim some of the cornbread:

The kids’ first real experience with wrapping paper:

We had our Christmas celebration on the 23rd, since Sydney caught a plane on the 24th for his conference in Atlanta.  He was lucky, though, to get an overnight layover in Halifax, so he got to spend Christmas Eve and the wee hours of Christmas Day with his parents and brother.  He’ll be back on New Year’s Day, but from our Skype conversations he seems to be faring pretty well in a hotel full of philosophers, and I am sure he’s glad to leave the Birdsongs to things in Oxford for a bit.

Erin

Last Sunday I woke the kids up from their naps, piled them into the stroller, and took them to an evening carol service at a child-friendly church in town.  A couple of hiccups in our preparations made us run a bit late, so we arrived at the church just before things were to start.  When I asked about how best to put the stroller out of the way, a very kind gentleman sized up my situation and told me he would be happy to help us find seats.  Our rambunctious trio followed him up, up, up the sanctuary–to the front row.  When I tried to protest, he said he would love for the kids to really be able to see, and he assured me that it would not be a problem at all if we had to leave early or stand up to soothe Nathaniel.  Having attended playgroups and other events at that church, I know it’s a fairly baby-friendly place, but, still, this was a rather grand affair.

But both kids loved it.  Well, Katherine sat, frozen to her seat, and only later could I ask enough questions to be sure it was interest, rather than fear, that had her so rapt.  There was a gigantic Christmas tree on our left, all decked out, an orchestra and choir were in front, and members of the church regularly ascended the pulpit to read parts of the Christmas story.  To my surprise, Katherine recognized the story from the Biblical passages that were read (I’d only been reading a kids’-book version to her), and she enjoyed the instruments and singers arrayed in front of her even if she didn’t know the songs to join in.

Nathaniel, for his part, kept me busy, but I was armed with a box full of carrot muffins, so he ate his way into contentment and enjoyed the parts when we all stood to sing, since he could eat, watch, and listen from his spot in my arms.  As we neared the end of the service, though, he made more attempts to wiggle free and run to the Christmas tree, so I decided it was time to leave.  As we joined other parents and wiggly children in the foyer, I saw the man who had ushered us to the front row stand up to give the sermon, and I realized that we’d been given our spots by the vicar, and we’d likely been sitting in his seat.  I was grateful for his generosity and also his tolerance of such a riotous crowd, and for the chance to share something special with Katherine without being held back by her younger brother.

* * *

Yesterday morning my parents arrived for a two-week visit.  They apparently left the States just before the gigantic storm came through, so we’re all very relieved that they didn’t get stuck in Chicago.  Grandchildren were admired, we’ve done our first rounds of food ribbing (“What do you put in that soup?”  “Really, guys, you can’t stock this tiny English fridge like it’s the gigantic one in your house”), and they’re finding their own ways to stay entertained with a daughter and son-in-law in the middle of a busy work time–and daylight ending around 3:30pm.  Mom and Dad gamely took on babysitting duties their first night here so Sydney and I could catch a concert together.

It is, honestly, the first concert I can remember both attending and enjoying together since Nathaniel was born.  Our date nights have been very limited, and even when the stars align we were generally too sleep-deprived or stressed to really settle into the occasion.  This time, though, we enjoyed a beautiful selection of early music in a gorgeous and rather grand church I’d never visited before, and we left knowing that Katherine was more than capable of giving her grandparents instructions for the bedtime routine.  Apparently she even supplied the bedtime songs her grandparents didn’t know.  She played shy for a minute or two when they first arrived, but then quickly started making the most of so many adult admirers.  Nathaniel, for his part, cried, clearly overwhelmed by having new and strange people in his house, but then ran to my parents to be cuddled and comforted as he sorted out this strangeness.  Sydney and I were left with empty hands, and we have been enjoying it ever since.

This evening I took the kids up to their nursery so that they could take part in a Christmas play–and I could join the gaggle of doting parents with cameras at the back.  We had a magical walk.  I was afraid we were running late, so I moved us along at a good clip and thus wasn’t cold in the sub-freezing temperatures (unusual for England).  It had snowed a tiny bit earlier in the day, and the kids and I enjoyed the gorgeous trees and shrubs on our walk, while I was grateful to have the stroller to keep me from falling flat on the ice.  The night was cold and clear, so I could show Katherine the stars for the first time in a long time.  And we had a good time at the play.  Neither of my kids contributed much.  Nathaniel sat obediently in front, swiveling his head to keep up with the action.  He’s supposed to be a “star” in his yellow shirt:

Katherine, meanwhile, had donned her usual impenetrable/sullen expression when she saw how many people were there, and her teachers wisely put her at the back.  She, in grey, is a “shepherd.”  I love the contrast between her expression and that of Mary in the background:

And then, thankfully, it was all over and there were delicious mince pies to be had by all:

Erin

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I can start ’em young.  Virginia Woolf in a children’s book:

The story is loosely based on the close relationship between Virginia and her sister, Vanessa Bell, who was a renowned Bloomsbury painter.  In the children’s book, Virginia is in a “wolfish” mood, and she’s depicted as a wolf until her sister’s painting of a beautiful garden on the bedroom walls finally cheers her up–and helps her turn back into a girl.  Yup, this one is going to appear on the Penner bookshelves sooner or later.

Erin