Thoughts and Words Ill-Sorted

We had a good time in Arkansas, spending time with my aunt and uncle, various cousins, and my grandmother.  We took the 12-hour drive in two days, both going down and coming back, and both kids were really good: Katherine entertained herself for hours, often just watching the scenery or singing songs (much to the amusement of the three adults), and Nathaniel took the opportunity to catch up on his napping.  The adults were much more impatient with the drive than they were!

Unfortunately, the kids handed off whatever sniffles they brought with them from England to their grandparents, both of whom developed full-blown colds.  And Katherine ran a fever for a day or so and lost her appetite while we were there.  If there is a way to travel without getting everyone sick, I’d love to hear it.  Katherine spent a lot of time in my lap (she is usually not much of a lap girl), waving away the million grandmotherly women who tried to give her a pat.  Hmm, skeptical brown eyes, and not much of a small-talker.  Sydney, you were there in spirit, if not in person 🙂

But Katherine did have a great time playing with her three-year-old second cousin, who showed her a few tricks at the pool the evening we arrived.  She slept really well that night.  And by the end of the visit, when she was feeling better, she’d made herself at home, wandering around my aunt’s house, chattering away.

Over and over again, Nathaniel elicited comments along the lines of, “Wow, he’s a big guy,” “Whoah, a husky little fella,” and, my favorite, “He doesn’t miss a meal, does he?”  Sydney and I find these comments amusing: Katherine was far chubbier than Nathaniel; he’s just bigger.  One evening Nathaniel found himself the center of attention when a lady at the table held him and got him laughing.  An entire room full of women (all grandmothers) were laughing along with him as he kept it going for a good ten minutes.  I think he won a few fans with that little act.

Here he is with my grandmother, my father’s mother.  She isn’t quite five feet high (I think I outgrew her by the time I was eight), so Nathaniel was quite a load for her!

Nathaniel smiled at anyone and everyone, so he made good arm candy for my dad.

Katherine and I did the wallflower act while she got over the hump of her fever.

Katherine, Nathaniel, and their cousin were the only little kids in a crowd of retirees, so they got lots of attention all weekend long.

Erin

During our first week in Iowa I took the kids down to the local library.  It’s a place that has come to mean a lot to our family: Dad plays music there with a group a couple of mornings a week (yes, music in a library: this is an unusual place), Mom’s been on the library board, and I worked there from the age of fourteen through college, doing every kind of job: cleaning, shelving, cataloging, helping kids with homework, teaching computer literacy, and leading story time for the little ones.  It’s still one of my favorite places in the world, and I love seeing my kids climb the stairs and sit on the floor where I’ve shelved thousands of books.  I also, miraculously, remember my library number, not that I let myself check out a lot of books anymore.

Katherine has shown a lot of interest in tea, given how many cups she sees me making at home, so she suckered Grandpa into hours and hours of teatime.  That table is the same one that Adam and I used when we were little, and those chairs come from the school that my dad and all of his siblings attended when they were growing up in Oklahoma.

Erin

I haven’t yet read the instruction manual for my parents’ camera, but I’m hoping to take some pictures of the kids soon.  We have been in Iowa about a week, and many things have happened:

– Katherine has had endless tea parties with Grandpa.  She loves pouring the water from her teapot, and the game has her drinking an astonishing amount of water.  She’s also spilled some, which made the floor slippery . . . and she is currently sporting a gorgeous green bruise on her forehead from slipping on that wet floor.  Who knew that tea could be dangerous?

– I’ve been joining my mom for walks on my old country road, and I’m surprised at how looooong the road seems to me.  The majority of Oxford fits into a circle with a three- or four-mile diameter; here, however, we measure things in those country squares, one mile on each side and not much in-between.  There’s a reason we own cars here.  You can walk a long way without passing too many houses.  Oh yes, and there’s no sandwich shop or creperie to tempt you half-way through!  But it’s nice to be back where the sky is big 🙂

– For my birthday, my mom made some of my favorite home food and we celebrated with lots of family time.  Sydney sent me a wonderful birthday present: he reformatted our blog entries (from 2007 until now) and had them printed and bound for me.  I love having everything in books, and I’m not terribly comfortable with just a digital record of our lives, so I’m thrilled to be able to flip the pages and check to see that, yes, Katherine really did cause more trouble at this age than Nathaniel and, no, we weren’t getting much sleep then, either.

– My brother and I went for our annual lunch out, a chance to catch up and act like grownups together without any parents around.  We did pretty well on both accounts.  I’m hoping I get to see a lot more of him while I’m here.

– In a moment of recklessness, I told my parents I’d be happy to drive down with them and the kids to a family reunion in Arkansas this weekend.  We leave tomorrow.  It’s a 12-hour drive and I hear the temperature down there is near a hundred, but we’re going to take it in short jaunts and see how the kids fare.  As little as I relish more long trips with the kids, I would love to introduce them to my extended family, and it will be wonderful to be there as my aunt and uncle celebrate 50 years of marriage.

– The job market starts up for me in about two weeks, and I’m feeling reasonably prepared.  It will be interesting to see what the list of openings looks like!

Erin

We made it!  Yesterday was an incredibly long day, but we all made it, safe and sound.

Much to my surprise, there wasn’t a single meltdown in the entire 20-hour trip!  We left the house around 8, took the bus to the airport, took a nine-hour flight to Atlanta, then another two-hour one to Cedar Rapids, and had a 45-minute drive home.  Although I did my best to get Katherine in “nap” mode as soon as we got on the first plane (the blanket, the doll, the songs, a pillow, closing my eyes beside her and remaining quiet), she didn’t close her eyes once on our flights.  The ticket agents were really nice to me, giving me bulkhead seating (a wall in front of me) and an empty seat next to me, and the flight attendants found me a cot for Nathaniel.  I was a bit tense throughout, but both kids were really good.  Katherine played her way through the day, and Nathaniel gave me regular Katherine playing sessions while he napped.  Both kids charmed those around us, and I got lots of compliments on my family as we left the plane.  Funnily enough, my parenting is pretty much the same from one flight to the next; it’s all a matter of how the kids are that day!  There were many kind offers of help, but I have to say that I felt much as guide dogs must: petting and compliments are lovely, but I’m here to do a job, and I really need to focus.  But I appreciated the moral support!

We had a bit of a race to our second flight, since I had to collect our bags, re-check them, re-do security, and do border inspection and customs before the hop flight, but both kids held on for me.  Katherine made herself the center of attention with a loud, long wail when I tried to hurry her to board (and I guessed many of the other passengers standing around thought, “Oh nooooooo!”), but she dried her tears, tired as she was, as soon as she understood that I was only helping her onto another airplane (she likes them a lot).  Nathaniel was a bit spooked by that point in the day, since all of his naps had been rudely interrupted by one noise or another, so he needed some real work on the final leg, but I just threw some small buttons and things at Katherine while I worked with him and she arranged and rearranged them on her table throughout the flight.

What surprises me is how wiped I feel even with such help from the kids.  It was almost four in the morning, London time, when we arrived at my parents’ place, and both kids were pretty keen on sleeping with me.  As in, I had a child glued to each side of me for the night.  Nathaniel woke repeatedly, alarming his sister, and I gave up on more sleep around 4am Iowa time.  He and I went to the basement to play while the rest of the house slept.  He then took a nice nap while I got Katherine (who was awake by 6) and greeted the grandparents, who were a bit surprised (though very nice about it!) by having such invasive early risers as house guests.

We’ve had a lovely day at home, with Katherine taking command of the house, enjoying new toys and corners, and taking full advantage of having three adults at her disposal.  Nathaniel is getting lots of “Look at this round little foot/arm/leg/face/head!”  Since it was in the high eighties today I hid from the heat and will start adjusting to real summer tomorrow.  I’m looking forward to having more company on my morning walks.  We had a great dinner out on the deck, with little ones being passed from lap to lap and a nice breeze whisking away the heat and humidity.  But, since both kids went down early this evening, it’s about time I check out and get some sleep!

Erin

Last night was lovely.  Our babysitter was game for the two little ones, and Sydney and I ran off to get a bite before our concert.  Since we didn’t have enough time for a sit-down dinner, and all of the sandwich shops were closed, we went to Marks & Spencer (an upscale grocery) and bought a salad, a sandwich, a pile of cherries, and three desserts to eat on a bench along the Christ Church meadow.  We laughed at ourselves for, once again, buying too much food, but we managed to polish it off.

The concert was great: I was really happy to hear Mozart’s clarinet concerto, one of my favorite pieces of music, and we also got to hear Beethoven’s Emperor piano concerto.  The concert was in the Sheldonian, one of Oxford’s iconic buildings.  But, to be honest, we were just thrilled to be anywhere where we could hear good music and not be interrupted by little shrieks or cries.  We were an easy audience 🙂

This afternoon I polished off my dissertation and ordered hard copies to send to my advisors.  Much as I loved being able to make a mammoth final push through the material, helping the major pieces fit together, I am thrilled to now turn my attention to other things.  As is the rest of my family.

I’ve taken notes from Grandma Penner, who is great at remembering to bring small, intriguing items to distract Katherine in church or on trains, planes, and automobiles, and I’ve been hoarding some things in the past few weeks.  Her owl backpack is currently filled with a small box with raisins, some of her favorite oat crackers, a water bottle, a bottle of crayons, a coloring/sticker book, a game of magnetic checkers, some new books, and I’m keeping back some other bottles-with-small-items (buttons, straws, elastic bracelets, cereal, etc.) to dole out as needed.  Tomorrow I’ll hunt up some good snacks, preferably ones that take a long time to eat and that Katherine can consume without help from me.  One thing I didn’t anticipate on this trip was needing to pack a lot of entertainment for Nathaniel, but I think I’ll have to put some effort into that one.  He’s gotten very interested in touching, eating, and lunging for items recently, and I think I may have my hands full keeping him occupied!  I also have big lists made to help me remember the important things: passports, tickets, wallet, diapers, wipes, etc., since I don’t trust my current mental abilities farther than I can throw the double-decker buses that are so popular around here.

Erin

Many thanks for the words of encouragement as I make my way through reams and reams of writing, toward the end of the dissertation project.  As easy as I’m taking it, keeping my expectations low, limiting the time I spend on the rewrites, etc., it still feels like a massive undertaking, and I’m grateful for all of the support!  Sydney, as you might expect, has been wonderful, taking the kids for big chunks of the day, letting me take additional work time whenever I need it, but also keeping me from locking myself away for too long at one time.  Last night I was given orders to ignore both work and dishes and go up to play with the kids in Katherine’s room, with the promise that I could resume writing after a good hour of play.  At other times I’ve been “forced” to take the kids for a walk, something that never fails to refresh me.  I can’t say that I was nearly as chill or helpful during Sydney’s own final dissertation writing, but I am grateful that he is now showing me how it’s done!

I’ve submitted four chapters and am enjoying my time with the fifth and last.  I will work on it today and tomorrow, then get print copies of the whole thing sent out to my advisors.  I’m enjoying seeing the pages pile up and the pieces come together, particularly when they no longer involve important decisions about substance from me.  Then I’m going to forget about it, focus on packing and play, and head out with the kids to my parents’ place, in Iowa, on Tuesday.  I’m looking forward to putting the finishing touches on the dissertation (though Sydney reminds me that there may be rewrites after the defense!), packing, saying my goodbyes to Oxford and to Sydney, and going “home.” Somewhere in the middle of my flight with the kids I’ll realize I failed to pack enough diapers or toys, or that none of those things will be enough to prevent a meltdown or two, but after spending weeks gathering new books, toys, and food, I know I’ll have done my best, and the rest is just gritting one’s teeth until my parents can rescue us!

First, however, another hour or so of writing before Sydney and I head out for a date.  There are bottles of milk in the fridge, there are diapers on the changing table, and our babysitter arrives at six!  I’ve been a bit starved for music, and I’m looking forward to enjoying the orchestra concert with my husband later this evening.

Erin

I think the adrenaline has kicked in.  It took me two hours of lying in bed last night to turn off my brain.  And on my walk this morning I shaved about five minutes off my usual time.  Poor Nathaniel: he was strapped into the stroller, probably hoping for a nice nap.  He must have been wondering what’d gotten into me!

Chapter Three goes out tonight.  Two more to go . . .

Erin

Katherine’s been quite eager to help Nathaniel “play,” though her generosity is creating some problems.  When he latches onto one toy she often tears it away, replacing it with a new one.  After about the third or fourth attempt to hang onto a toy Nathaniel begins to cry, apparently not appreciating her attempts to give him novelty.

We’ve also had to keep her from offering him small bits of food.  She has been fascinated with the recent introduction of a baby bottle, since then she can actually see the “muck” go down (thankfully, Nathaniel has taken to it like a pro).

“Katherine, what can the baby eat?  Can the baby eat carrots?”

“No!!”

“Can he eat apple?”

“No!!”

“Can he eat bread?”

“No!”

“What can the baby eat, Katherine?”

“Giraffe!!”

That was a bit of a surprise, though I suppose he has been going at his giraffe chew toy pretty often recently . . .

Erin

Today Nathaniel is six months old.  That is something to celebrate!  Although I doubt his recent development will make me feel like I have enough room on my flight next week, we’re all enjoying his recent activity: grabbing, chewing, sitting, playing, and flailing.  I think Katherine is getting some indications that he may be more trouble than she initially assumed (“Touching!  Touching!!” rings out every time she gets a little too close to him and he seizes the opportunity), she’s really enjoying bringing him new toys and chattering on about him.

Sydney and I also marked six years of marriage yesterday.  We are saving up our celebrations for next Saturday, however, since we have a babysitter lined up and tickets for an orchestra concert.  We’re looking forward to a night out!

Erin

Nathaniel’s first tooth!  He’s been drooling and chewing for three months, but yesterday, just a few days shy of six months old, we finally saw evidence: a tiny white ridge where his bottom front tooth will be.

I am glad that there is a good reason for all of the fussiness and sleep trouble in the last few days, but I’ll be glad when he goes back even to his “normal” sleep patterns!

Erin