Can a wife appreciate?

I had a few thoughts about the man’s response to the ad below.  One big part of me was thrilled: in this day and age, after so much fighting over women in the workplace, I am guessing that one of the most satisfying things a man can do is to say to a woman like this, “You want it, you go get it!”   Amen.

But another part of me felt my blood run cold: it’s like high school prom all over again.  The women who are upperclassmen find themselves in a tight situation: they’ve finally reached a point where they get to go to prom, and the guys chicken out of asking anyone in their own class (women who might say no) and ask freshman girls who are almost sure to say yes, since doing so is their only chance of attending the prom.  Arm candy without risk or commitment, youth as a constant threat.

I was thinking about this in terms of working at a university.  Cute young girls walk in my door every day, and I could see how working on a college campus would be a really bad idea for someone who is plagued by major body-image issues.  There’s no better way to feel out of it, whether it be in fashion, hairstyle, fitness, or culture.  Obviously, beauty of a youthful sort (which is all society seems interested in nowadays) is not the thing to cling to if you want your life to get better, rather than take a nosedive, as you mature.

I would be very interested to know how the guy who responded to the ad would describe the appreciation or depreciation of other women who put forth qualities other than beauty.  In effect, why would a guy marry when he can lease?  The woman in the ad gestures toward the “genius” level of a competitor, but the guy who responded is right: it’s a trade of looks for money.  But say a woman put forth her abilities in terms of making the husband look settled, a man of responsibility, and not just some young cad–i.e., things many companies look for when they’re making partnering and high-level management decisions.  Say she put forth her mind, which will obviously just accrue interesting stuff over time, or her mothering potential, things that might play out in the long run.  Would he then appreciate her?  Some guys might, yes.  But I’m not sure about it, since these things are a bit more difficult to see, and have a lot less obvious value in our culture.  With our attention to beauty and a youth-oriented culture, marriage is fighting an uphill battle.

Erin