Thoughts and Words Ill-Sorted

– Sydney and Katherine will be back in the UK on Wednesday after a month in Nova Scotia.  Judging from my conversations with them, the rain and the cool temperatures here will be a shock to their systems.  Katherine, in turn, is likely to be a bit of a shock to me after a month with her more docile brother.  She’s, ahem, gotten a bit wild with so much travel this summer, so we’ll be working hard to restore a modicum of discipline in the house.  There are now two beds in what was Katherine’s room, and Nathaniel is nicely settled into what was Katherine’s crib.  Changes afoot . . .

– Wednesday is also the day that Nathaniel turns eighteen months old.  He’s become a huge talker, carrying on a steady stream of words and sentences and noises on our walks through the park and, much to the grandparents’ delight, when I call family.  He is quite intent when he plays, making it clear that my services are not needed for certain activities (even politely discouraging me from joining in), and then climbing up onto my lap with a stack of books to alert me to the fact that he’s ready to learn and wants my help.  Bless him for it: his mother is not the most discerning adult on the block, so I appreciate his forthrightness.

– On Tuesday Sydney and I celebrate seven years of marriage.  Seven.  For someone who not so long ago had neither men nor marriage on the brain, I am really quite surprised to find myself not only married but happily so.  And seven seems like a lot (yes, Mom and Dad, you can quit smirking even if you have been married six times as long).  I was thoroughly overwhelmed by our busy house last fall, so I failed to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries as I would like, and I’ve learned my lesson: since we didn’t mark them, they didn’t really sink in, and both Sydney and I have been going around thinking he’s one year younger than he really is.  So, this year, it’s time to re-establish our celebrations.  Since we will be preoccupied by both jetlag and two small children (no, no babysitter), our celebration may be on a fairly small scale, but it is already significant that we’ll all four be in the same place at the same time, so that’s a start!

Erin

Katherine helping Grandmother Penner clean garlic:

Nathaniel and I have been out for walks at least once, usually twice, a day.  Although I’m now living right in the middle of town, four years of motherhood has helped me adjust to the idea of just throwing on clothes and heading out the door without primping, since if I take more than ten minutes to get ready Nathaniel will dismantle the house by the time I’m ready to go.  I’m a bit worried that I’ve let my standards of appearance slip a bit too much, though, since I have been taken for a new mother more than once recently.  I’m hoping it’s just because Nathaniel’s the only kid in the stroller, but I’m a bit worried that the comments of support (“Not long ’til he’ll be going a bit more briskly!” “Cherish the times!”) are elicited by my looking a bit tired and unkempt.  I also see more looks at my stomach, as if they’re expecting to see a baby bump (one reason for me not to use my pregnancy tops for workout gear . . .), something that hasn’t happened since having Nathaniel (thank you, little man!).  Is there an unspoken rule: if you have one you must soon be working on another, but after two we cut you a break?

I am a bit amused at the comments, since parenting is one of those things with a steep learning curve.  Although I’m a bit shorter on patience this time around (sorry, Nathaniel) from such a long run of sleep deprivation, I certainly feel more keenly the piece of wisdom, “This too shall pass.”  Besides, Nathaniel’s temper tantrums are positively darling when I think of Katherine’s at this age.  I’m sure he’s surprised that I laugh at him so often when he yells.

Erin

I just got an email from Heidi (frequently commenter here and my best friend since, oh, fifth grade).  She and her husband are moving to Chicago from DC, so she’s applied, through her current job, for a job doing similar work in Chicago.  One week later, and she was just offered the job.  One job applied for and one job won.  I am dazzled by her batting average.  Well done, Heidi!!!

Erin

I had very good intentions: while Sydney and Katherine were gone I was going to make an extra effort to take and upload pictures of Nathaniel, in part to help the grandmothers (neither of whom has seen him in person in awhile), and in part to remind Katherine that she is not, in her normal life, the sole child among a house full of adults!  Unfortunately, I’m running into problems with the allotted memory for our blog, so pictures will have to wait until Sydney can look into it.  In good news, however, Sydney was able to get a new computer with the help of his college, so I inherited his old one, which was still newer than mine.  Although I’m not thrilled about being forced to convert to Linux (I hate spending time learning new computer systems), I love having a computer that won’t threaten to crash when I open my work files.

I have also scored on a few other fronts.  This is the time of year when families from North America head home (to start school in August or September, rather than October, which is when things start here), and we get lots of email on the Newcomers list about items to be given away or sold.  If all goes well, I’ll be buying a child-size bed for Katherine (no rails!) and picking up roughly 50 pounds of flour from a woman who is moving before she can use it all.  It’s clearly a great time to be in town!

Nathaniel has just moved up a size in shoes–four pairs since he started walking!!  He is now less than a size behind his sister . . .

Erin

This morning my mailman greeted me with, “Ahh, the gospel singer.”  Apparently he’d been at the concert earlier this month and recognized me.  I am reminded once again that Oxford is a small town.  Thankfully, I grew up in a small town and liked it, so these reminders feel cheering rather than stifling.

* * *
Nathaniel and I have had a great couple of days.  I’m getting over my missing-Sydney blues, now that we’re halfway through the month, Nathaniel has been in a great mood and just itching to giggle, and we’ve spent lots of time outside.  This morning I walked a few miles around the nearby farm (feeding horses over the fence while Nathaniel intoned “Neiiiiiiigh.  Neiiiiiigh.  Neiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.”) and over to the university parks.  Once I let Nathaniel out to roam, he dutifully gathered cones from the sequoia trees, but then he wouldn’t budge, insisting on staying to watch a volleyball game that was going on in the middle of the parks.  This “volleyball game” consisted of a badminton net and a cluster of East Asian students who had clearly never played the game before.  From the girls’ sudden dodges whenever the ball came near, I wondered if they’d ever played a ball game before.  But, more importantly, they were having a lot of fun.

What surprised me was that they seemed very interested in Nathaniel.  Boys and girls waved hellos and turned to watch him as he climbed up on a bench to watch their game.  One of the boys even brought him a volleyball.  Cheers erupted when Nathaniel took off with the ball, kicking it like a soccer ball, away from the boy.  I was a bit worried that someone would get nailed by a volleyball because of Nathaniel’s distractions, but we were in luck and all went well until it was time to leave.

* * *

I stopped three times today to offer help to map-wielding groups who looked lost.  The first group consisted of four Britons, one of whom had attended Oxford 50 years ago.  He seemed to take offers of help from an American at his alma mater in stride, and he admitted that a few things had changed enough to throw him off course.  He and his wife had even lived for some years in upstate New York, so we were all pleased by the connections.

Another group I met later in the day consisted of a mother and daughter from, I’d guess, the eastern US.  They responded eagerly to my “Can I help?” but then looked both amused and surprised when I dropped the English inflection answered the rest of their questions in normal American English.

When Sydney and I visited England four years ago we were often offered directions by people on the street, so now that I’m here I hope to repay the kindness.  Plus, as a woman with a stroller and what are pretty obviously the results of a grocery run, I am frequently approached as if I’m a local.  I’ve now lived in three different university towns, and I am going to guess I have more in my future, so I think I’m practicing for a lifelong gig!

One of my favorite places to take Nathaniel to play is the grove of 130-year-old Sequoias in the University Parks.  He loves the sequoias’ cones, and I love seeing such a tiny (big ever-growing) little boy under such mammoth trees.  They come from California, so I suppose it’s my dose of home, even though they seem quite exotic to me.

Erin

One second to snap a photo with the flash:

Another for him to look up, intrigued by the flash:

And then he sees the camera, gets excited, and it’s all over.

Yes, my son is sitting in a saucepan, holding an empty spice jar.  I’ll make sure to give him a slot in the cooking rotation as soon as he starts grade school . . .

Erin

We’ve seen some interesting behavior since coming to Oxford, partly because we look on things with foreigners’ eyes, and partly because Oxford gets a lot of visitors from all over the world.  Oh, and also because Britons sometimes act a bit odd.

– When in London several months ago, Sydney and I were amused to see a couple gleefully trying to get close to a squirrel so they could take a picture of it.  Grey squirrels (an American import to the UK) are apparently not either native or introduced to Eastern Asia, so visitors from that area get very excited about them here.  Today, while out with Nathaniel, I saw a similar couple fascinated by a squirrel in the parks.  The young man reached out his hand as an offer to pet it, as if it were a dog, and then, when it sensibly jumped up a tree, made a real effort to catch it.  Thankfully, the squirrel was as adept at escape as they usually are, so I didn’t have to see the man get a nasty bite for his efforts.  But, really??

– There is a pedestrian-only street near us filled with shops that also gets a number of performers playing for money.  As we walked by we’ve seen a guy with a battered euphonium, lanky guys and girls with guitars and sorrowful voices, teenage rock bands, a gentleman in top hat and tails playing an upright piano (which was on wheels and shaded by a large umbrella), and a brass group playing New Orleans jazz.  I really like the surprise of seeing who might be there on any given day.

– I am regularly asked by tourists to point the way “to the city.”  I’m a bit perplexed by this, because we’re usually standing right in it, but I’ve come to realize that they either mean “the university” (equally difficult to point to, since it’s spread all over, much of it behind high walls), or “something that looks like the skyline of the major city I’m from.”  My only luck with the latter is pointing them to the shopping malls, which seems to suffice.

– This weekend there seem to be a lot of things going on in town, including graduation ceremonies and dozens of school tour groups.  So I’ve seen variations on Oxford gowns (including the long-winged doctoral robes and funny hats), proud mothers in elaborate hats and fascinators, and large clusters of students all wearing the same brightly colored backpack.  Yesterday, while walking down an ordinary road in town, I also walked around a bride and her photographer (I didn’t see the groom).

Erin

I have the camera, but Sydney and Katherine are in the new place.  So don’t expect much in the way of pictures from Nova Scotia.  If I can remember the camera on our local outings, I may be able to take more pictures of Nathaniel in all his cuteness, but I make no promises.

I can report that Sydney and Katherine arrived safely at the Penner grandparents’ house, with only some rebellion from Katherine along the way, and that she quickly made herself at home.  She apparently now spends her days tripping down the paths in her grandparents’ garden, going from house to field and back again, roaming from one family member to another.  She quickly adopted Sydney’s brother, Nelson, and seems disinclined to listen to Sydney or to come to the phone when I call.  So, no, she doesn’t seem to be distraught at the changes afoot.

Nathaniel is enjoying having a house to himself.  He spends his time at home dragging out pots and pans and toys and stuffed animals, making a series of piles on the floor.  I think he’s getting reacquainted with his things now that his big sister’s no longer here to take them away every three seconds.  He’s also crying a lot less than usual, also because Katherine’s not here to harass him.  We take long walks through the parks and head to playgrounds for some time with other kids (he’s learning to queue like an Englishman when waiting for the slide), and in-between I take him out to the shops to stock up on household items for what I think of as the upcoming storm (a busy fall semester, full of daycare, two jobs, job applications, and the usual classes and lectures of the school term).  Oxford is quiet this time of year, with everyone off on summer holiday and no playgroups or children’s activities running, so we’re on our own for fun.  But the town is also full of visiting American students whose home institutions hold summer sessions here, so I am surprised to hear my own accent ringing out all throughout the town.

Erin