Expectant mothers out there: A Bundle of Joy Isn’t Enough?
“A recent survey of more than 30,000 respondents by BabyCenter.com found that 38 percent of new mothers received a gift from their mate in connection with their child. Among pregnant mothers, 55 percent wanted one. About 40 percent of both groups said the baby was ample reward.”
I have to say, this is a new one for me. Though I don’t know if I have any room to speak, I’m with the experts in the article who recommend that, in lieu of giving your wife diamond earrings in the delivery room, you consider learning how to change diapers or take up chores that she’ll be too exhausted to do. But I do disagree with the (male) obstetrician who was quoted in the article as saying, “I think husbands are more involved with the prenatal process. Women go through back pain, morning sickness, stress and so on. We just sit around and take the credit. I think a lot of 21st century husbands are a little more in touch with that.” What credit? Other than some good-natured ribbing by and for both sexes, what I’ve seen is mother-and-child mentality, with the guys left to define their role somewhere on the sidelines. They can’t, like mothers, presume that they share the spotlight. Some families work this out to the satisfaction of both parties, but I’m guessing for others it may be a real point of tension: in the age of sperm donors, where do dads fit in?
At any rate, I’d be interested in hearing your opinions about “push” gifts and the roles of mothers and fathers at the child’s birth.
Erin
Alan Schmierer
I rather think the idea of ‘push’ gifts is a bit obscene. A gift of celebration perhaps, but in today’s world, parents-to-be usually plan to have a baby, and it’s a joint effort and decision. An expectation of a push gift (I so dislike that term), seems excessive and silly.